Have you ever been in love with a girl that has a boyfriend and you are looking forward to the day she will be available again? Or, you meet this beautiful girl that you are into and she too is into you, but, there’s only one problem, she is still nursing a breakup.
Dating a girl that has just come from a breakup has its challenges. Depending on who ended things, she might be saddened by the breakup and even feel like the world is crashing. This is very true if she was emotionally invested in the relationship for a long time and then one day it comes to a stop. Also, this is usually a transition period that may leave her with various questions like who she is and what she wants.
The last thing you want to do when dating a girl that has just left a serious relationship is being pushy. For example, a girl might be unwilling to emotionally invest in another man after a breakup and want to take things slowly. In other scenarios, the girl might not know what she wants and as a result, ends up sending mixed signals. One day she may feel ready for a date and the next day she is not. This may pose difficulties and confusion to you as the interested guy wondering whether to continue dating her or not.
Don’t push for a kiss on the first date or sex on the third encounter. Such expectations are not appropriate for such girls. Most women after a breakup feel vulnerable and fear that a new relationship might end up like the last one. Understand what she is going through and be patient. Be supportive and give her space and let her figure out what she wants first. Eventually, she will be ready to start dating and at this time, you will be around.
Women don’t hold things in their hearts, they love to talk and would appreciate a listening ear. Being the guy that offers her a shoulder to cry on and willing to listen to her when she feels like talking can put you in a prime position in her life. However, don’t just listen, practice active listening, ask questions, and put in your two coins to help console her. Let her do most of the talking while you urge her on. Nod often, do the occasional interjecting and even ask her open-ended questions to make her open up even more. It shows that you care and are interested in more than just her beauty or sex.
Never bring her ex up
When with her, never talk about her ex or what kind of man he was and how they broke up unless she brings it up herself. Despite her bringing it up, don’t make her feel like she dated a loser. Just sit back and listen while edging her on. Be compassionate and understanding and never try to compliment her by judging her ex. Stay neutral and avoid taking sides, your opinions must be general because you never know she might use them against you in future.
Don’t treat her like a prey
Avoid treating her like an easy prey or used goods. When the occasion presents itself, casually approach her and make your intentions clear from the start. She will eventually recover, but if you are not careful, you might fall into the friend/therapist role and end up finding it hard to get out. Make your romantic intentions clear and let her know that you are taking time for her to get over the breakup. Stay patient and persistent while being respectful. Keep hanging out with her until when she comes around.
Help her rebuild
While listening more and being patient, you can help her move on from the old relationship which can speed up the process. Help her to cut ties with the past and look forward to the future. To achieve this, it’s good to get a background of how things were in the old relationship. If it’s the environment or activities that remind her of the past, then help her move on.
Avoid taking her to dates where her ex would take her, or the same camping sites that she would go with her ex-boyfriend because she will easily sink into oblivion. Of course, don’t talk to her about her ex as it will remind her. From your conversations, you will pick up a thing or two. Try to take her to places she’s never been to before and the things she’s never done before. It can help speed up the healing process.
How to tell that she is ready to move on
You’ve done a fair share of your work and it’s time to get rewarded for it. You also need to find out whether she is interested in you and avoid wasting a lot of time with someone who might move on and dump you. Some girls might see you as a friend thus won’t expect to have any romantic relations with you. Below are signs that prove she is finally over her ex.
She talks less of her ex – When she talks less of her ex or completely stops, then you know she has moved on and probably enjoying every second with you.
Allows you to be closer to her – If she is feeling comfortable around you and is opening up to you more, then she is over the breakup.
Initiates hangouts – She figures out that you’ve made a lot of first moves and it’s time to reciprocate. If she is interested, then she won’t shy away from texting or calling you first and even inviting you to hang out.
Curious – With her eyes settled on you, she wants to know everything about you. Take it slow as you wouldn’t want to ruin things. Express your pure love and intentions.
Broken girls are hard to deal with and it is even harder to get into their personal space. What’s worse is that some are never really ready to get into another relationship. You might spend time with her, she will get fond of you but will never see you as a potential boyfriend. Others will feel like they need you because they want to cover the pain of losing their exe’s, but once they are over their ex, they might also not need you. So, before you finish repairing someone else’s damage, know your position in their lives, to avoid getting hurt.