How to dominate a girl in bed

We have at some point in our lives been dominant, given orders to someone or a group of people. There are occasions that you ordered someone to pick for you groceries, or kids from school etc. However, when it comes to the bedroom, as a man, you might have not been dominant. A big misconception people have is that being on top is dominant. Being dominant means that you know why you are there and are bold in pursuit of your pleasure.

Sexual dominance means one of you is in control while the other is submissive in a sexual play but in a consensual manner. Acting dominant between the sheets with a girl can seem intimidating. One of the most common misconceptions about being dominant in the bedroom is being cruel or mean to your girl. This isn’t dominance, it’s just selfishness that borders sociopathic. Taking the lead in bed doesn’t mean you change who you are and become cruel or sadist. You simply get to connect with that powerful side in you and share it with a girl for pleasure for both of you. You don’t need to belittle or demean her for you to be dominant in bed, that’s weakness.

Understand yourself first

When on the path to being dominant in bed, you first need to understand yourself. You need to figure out things like what turns you on and how to do it. Though it sounds easy, some of us are embarrassed by our desires and don’t feel like sharing them with our girlfriends as we think that they may end up laughing at us or feel disgusted. Ever watched a movie and got turned on by a scene? Though it might feel weird at first, it’s normal to ask yourself if your desires are normal. You have to accept them before you can move on and dominate.


Now that you know what turns you on and wish to experience it, it’s time to improve communication. Despite the reinforced society’s ideology that it is a man’s job to lead a girl into sex, great sex is a result of great communication and active participation of both parties both physically and mentally. However, it can be hard to share your thoughts and communicate. In this case, one of the parties has to take the initiative and take the lead. Girls love being dominated especially during the first times, but nicely, so at this point, it would be great if you as a man took the lead.

Being dominant over a girl in bed requires one to boldly say what they want, explain what makes them feel great when in bed and why. Most importantly is that one must have great control over themselves to be able to communicate and express themselves sufficiently. Go to the girl and say how you like it while using her as the persona.

Don’t go to her and tell her about a movie scene that turns you on. She might end up concluding that you love the girl in the scene instead of her. She will start comparing herself to her and then conclude that she isn’t good enough for you.

Develop the right attitude

If you want to be dominant, you have to decide what happens, and, when and how it happens. You have to rise to the occasion and express yourself in bed through actions. While at it, don’t ask for permission as it puts the girl above you. You should love being in control and do what you feel like doing. You should be able to make her give up control and enjoy your dominance. In the end, this should satisfy both your deepest desires.

To adopt the right attitude, you need to see sex as more than what it is and try things outside the usual. You need to produce this kind of attitude through your body language and actions making her get wet before you even penetrate. It’s even better if you make her orgasm without touching her. Don’t do something uncomfortable to her as it will ruin everything. How do you know you are on the right path? Simply initiate the action and then pay attention to her signals. If she shows that she is ok with it, then proceed, if not, stop.

Verbal dominance in bed

Girls are aroused by their senses which means that you need to talk to them while in bed. A lot of guys keep quiet while in bed and think it isn’t good to talk. When you don’t talk, the girl will not understand what you are up to or if you like what she’s doing to you. Talk to her and even give her orders like ‘look at me’, ‘bend over for me’, etc. You can also order her to say something like ‘baby, moan for me.’ With such words, you are dominant and make her desire for more.

Physically dominating her in bed

An effective method to satisfy her desires is physical dominance. Most girls want physical dominance and as a man, it’s your job to deliver. Some of the things you can do to physically dominate her are:

  • Press her body against the mattress
  • Hold her hands behind her back
  • Gently pull her hair
  • Spank her
  • Throw her on the bed
  • Choke her without hurting


Before being physically dominant, ensure that your girl is turned on as it won’t be ideal to dominate her in a completely rational state. The idea of being dominant is for you to take the lead, guide her through what will make you both happy. Don’t suck out the fun by being ruthless, stay dominant but in a loving way. Remember, the goal is to not only satisfy you but also to satisfy her, make her feel comfortable, and not scared of what you might do. The ultimate goal is to ensure that she enjoys your dominance and in the process give up all the control to you.

So, go out there and dominate your girl in bed.

Relationships are complex according to James M. Reid, but there is always a way to make things work. The only problem is that people don’t want to make sacrifices for the greater good. Getting into a romantic relationship is one thing but to sustain the relationship is difficult and draining. For couples that are determined to make things work, James insists on them working on their relationship right from the very beginning. His mission is to build relationships from infancy and not when things start going south. James offers advice to teens. He advises them on how to treat a girl or a boy and even how to approach either gender for a blissful relationship going forward.