How to ask a girl to be fwb over text

Having a girl as a friend with benefits is a good thing to some extent, because you can get sex without committing to her. The ideal fwb girl will let you have fun and even allow you hook up with someone else without getting green with jealousy. This can be quite tricky to navigate between friendship and courtship but you can still have a no-strings-attached relationship with a few basic rules. However, you don’t just wake up one morning and get a random girl to be an fwb.

Find the right girl

The first step is to identify the girl that you wish to be your fwb. Remember, not every girl can be an fwb, you have to find someone who shares the same ideologies as you. Ask yourself, are we friends already? The best kinds of fwb are the ones that the two of you are friends or already know each other and are not afraid to talk about your love lives. You don’t want to come out as a sexist by texting a girl out of the blues, make her feel offended and then ask her to be your fwb.

However, not all girls are opposed to a no-strings-attached relationship, you just have to find the right one. If the girl that you want to text is looking for a serious and stable relationship, then don’t waste your time. It’s pointless trying to change her mind, change your focus and target another girl that seems open to the idea.

Test the waters

Using text to ask for a sexual relationship is one of the hardest things. This is because you can see the other person and don’t know what their reaction will be. She might end up taking some time to reply leaving you with questions. Since you now are in constant communication, try testing the waters to see how she reacts.

In your conversations, gauge her and how comfortable she is chatting with you. You can try to bring up the topic of sex by flirting with her a little and see her reaction over text. If the response is positive, then you can tell that she isn’t uncomfortable discussing it with you and is open to a possible fwb. But, if she feels offended or reluctant, don’t take it further, better you continue searching for a more suitable girl.

Don’t build hopes on someone that is being difficult, since you know what you want, your efforts should be reciprocated. Find someone who has the same mindset as you and see how the texting will be flowing, you will not need to use a lot of effort.

Send flirty texts`

There is a reason you guys aren’t dating, it’s because both of you don’t feel that you are incompatible. This leaves you with only one outcome from a flirting conversation to sex. If she is cool with it so far, then step up on the flirting and take things a little further.

Text her those nice and erotic things to make your intentions well known. Chances are that both of you are single and open to relationships, you however, must make it clear that you only want an fwb thing, with no emotional connection. A good number of the fwb’s and the one-night stands lead to long-lasting relationships and even marriage but not at the moment.

You will therefore, find that individuals who are into fwb’s are not willing to settle but want to have sex, if you connect with this type of person, make it worth the while. Request for a quicky with a text, or suggest a weekend of food and sex. Send crazy text messages once in a while with the eggplant emoji to insinuate the upcoming meet.

Initiating an FWB

Individuals that engage in consensual sex never want attachments because they are too busy building their careers or chasing money, they don’t want any emotional baggage or responsibilities but need to balance out their sex hormones. There are many ladies and gentlemen that feel this way and wouldn’t mind engaging in an fwb. If you feel like you have identified one send them a text and ask if they are available for this type of arrangement.

On isolated occasions two single people will start by liking each other and then have sex. Afterwards, they realize that they are incompatible for a reason but feel good about continuing with the sexual escapades. Once in a while pick their minds and see if they are comfortable with the arrangement or are getting emotionally attached. You could send a cryptic message like “hey love.”

The response will tell you where you stand, if they respond “hi sweetheart,” you need to end things. But if they question your text. Apologize and continue with the arrangement.

There is no specific formula for asking a girl to be your fwb, so in most cases, you will hook up with someone who is like you in the places that you hang out, or get one from a mutual friend. So, once you identify the right girl, be direct in your text requests.


Communication in any relationship is vital even with your fwb, the fact that you are just going to be hooking up for sex does not mean you shouldn’t talk. It does help sometimes to understand where a person is coming from, what they do, and what their aspirations are. Being fwb does not mean that you should not care, even as you have sex, you will talk right before or after the activity.

What’s more one may want out and you can get hints by talking to them, send her texts from time to time, to see if they are okay. Don’t make them feel like objects and don’t always be out for sex, you can get flirty but it doesn’t always have to lead to sex.


A good fwb is based on mutual consent from both parties. From time to time, make sure to appreciate her for the good relationship you guys have without drama. This will keep her in check and prevent any signs of attachment from cropping up. Men are smart and can tell if a girl is into them or not. They can tell if a girl has a boyfriend and whether they are happy by just conversing even through text. Getting a girl to be your fwb is not a huge task, the big job lies in identifying one that can take the role and stick to it.

Relationships are complex according to James M. Reid, but there is always a way to make things work. The only problem is that people don’t want to make sacrifices for the greater good. Getting into a romantic relationship is one thing but to sustain the relationship is difficult and draining. For couples that are determined to make things work, James insists on them working on their relationship right from the very beginning. His mission is to build relationships from infancy and not when things start going south. James offers advice to teens. He advises them on how to treat a girl or a boy and even how to approach either gender for a blissful relationship going forward.